Regarding Things

Excerpt from Matt Taibbi’s review of Thomas Friedman’s new book:

Friedman writes:

Because if the spread of freedom and free markets is not accompanied by a new approach to how we produce energy and treat the environment… then Mother Nature and planet earth will impose their own constraints and limits on our way of life—constraints that will be worse than communism.

Three observations about this touching and seemingly remarkable development, i.e. onetime unrepentant free-market icon Thomas Friedman suddenly coming out huge for the environment and against the evils of gross consumerism:

1. The need for massive investment in green energy is an idea so obvious and inoffensive that even presidential candidates from both parties could be seen fighting over who’s for it more in nationally televised debates last fall;

2. I wish I had the balls to first spend six long years madly cheering on an Iraq war that not only reintroduced Sharia law to the streets of Baghdad, but radicalized the entire Islamic world against American influence—and then write a book blaming the spread of fundamentalist Islam on the ignorant consumers of the middle American heartland, who bought too many Hummers and spent too much time shopping for iPods in my wife’s giganto-malls.

Back in High School, I decided to be very intellectual and try to read The World is Flat, Friedman’s breakout book. I didn’t finish reading it. I didn’t finish reading it. After learning more about Friedman in this review, I realize the reason i didn’t finish the book is because:

1. Friedman is a so-so writer at best
2. Friedman is a hypocrite
3. I was in High School and found the question of whether or not Moiraine was dead, or merely trapped in an alternate dimension, significantly more interesting than whether or not globalization was happening.

I had never researched Thomas Friedman before, but after reading this review I am led to believe Friedman is:

• a Hypocrite
• married to the daughter of a Mall Tycoon
• living in a mansion large enough to house several small armies

Whether or not this is true, it is true that I once noted Friedman as one of my journalistic heroes. This is highly ironic to me, and is further proof that trying to sound smart by name-dropping New York Times columnists is the reverse of intellectual. Let us all take a moment and chuckle at me.

But now I have learned. Taibbi has taught me. True intellectuality is exhibited by ridiculing NYT columnists!